GET A JOB ASSHOLE: online applications are fucked

I'm in the unenviable position of being jobless right now.

I apply to several jobs a day, and work on resumes, put on a nice outfit and way more makeup than I'm used to and go stalk people at their offices to get a job, etc etc etc.

Then I come to online application forms and submissions. I feel as if I'm at least moderately tech savvy (not that it takes a lot to fill out an online form) but as of late, I'm ready to lose my shit. I fill out the entire form then after an hour of filling out all the little boxes, MY COMPUTER WON'T LET ME CLICK ON THE 'SUBMIT' button. It sure let me fill out 4 pages worth of online forms, and my laptop's pad and buttons work as they should, allowing me to easily move my cursor from one point of information to the next. Then, in a sadistic fit of computer vengeance and rage, my computer STOPS working at the moment of truth. This happens at least once every other day, and it's usually an hour of carefully thought out answers to behavioral questions. There's no way to save the information and I get so frustrated that I want to throw my laptop across the room to show it who's really in charge (of course it would still be).

I have to wonder; JUST HOW MANY shitty jobs I've missed out on because of this fucked up twist of fate? Can I sue Mac for making a laptop that won't let me go out and get a damn job? And how long can I keep up this excuse? And believe it for myself?


Now that I'm on the subject of getting a damn job. I'm writing this at 4:30am. Time has no meaning anymore and I don't have any money to do anything so I'm stuck in my house all day, making me feel even more insane. Every time I walk back into my house and I've been gone for a little while, I smell the scent of desperation and crazy in the air.

~MOVING ON~

I've had several interviews in the last 2 months. Some of them have been downright insulting, and one of them went amazingly well. You gotta love the employer's market! Too bad I'm not sitting on the same side of the table as they are. Allow me to share a few experiences: I graduated from a commercial design school where graduating students have a portfolio show open to friends, family and potential employers. At the show, I received 2 potential employment offers and I was walking on sunshine, I thought I was going to be able to get a job pretty quickly rather then have to stare deep into the depths of Gadball, Monster and Craigslist for weeks at a time.

A few days after graduation, I do my follow up and one of the companies is trying to have me take on working for them, IN A SUBURB 20 miles away from where I live, for nothing more than a gas allowance and the *potential* of hiring me at the end of a 3-month trial period. Did I mention that they wanted 40 hours a week? When I politely declined, during this phone interview, the owner of the company then said to me: "How's your job hunt going?" in a snide tone of voice. I told him it was going well. In reality, it can only go up from there.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not above working just to gain work experience or pick up some necessary skills. Before I graduated I did 2 part-time internships for a total of 8 months worth of free work for people. I do freelance apparel design work as well, and I'm at the point now where I am getting business every month. It's still not a lot or steady, but IT'S THERE!! Even if the firm had offered me a very low wage, I still would have probably considered it until I found something better because it would have been: 1. compensation for work. 2. work experience.


Remarkable interview #2

Another interview I had was at the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of experience. The pay is alright and its only 1/2 time, but I'll take it if I can get it! It was easily the most comfortable, fun interview I have ever had. We talked the entire time, and they didn't touch their interview questions once. The only downside is that I know I was fidgeting a little bit and showed some small indications of being nervous. All in all though, I would have given myself 85-90% for everything I did right.

Wish for me and help me to manifest a lovely job that will help me grow in skills and autonomy to keep me moderately sane.

oh yeah, this whole "not-having-a-job" posting is a thinly veiled request for you to go look at my etsy shop.

www.ojala.etsy.com

Sweethearts

Cupid just shot an arrow through my heart...


Here are some items I currently have in my etsy shop, in celebration of love and romance.

I love everything about the print and colors of these pants, as well as the Muscha-esque pose of Amelia. As soon as I saw the print pattern of chrysanthemums, I fell in love with the fabric, and I've never been much of a pink kind of girl. They just looks so....organic and supine in these pictures. Exceptions can always be made.

The pants are also made out of a bamboo jersey if you can believe it! For those of you who don't know, you really should get a garment made out of bamboo, it's wonderfully soft and supple as a fabric. It took all my strength not to horde the fabric and make something for myself, but I've desperately been trying to get rid of excess fabric and clothes for....ok, my entire adult life....I'm not ashamed.




www.ojala.etsy.com


The weather has been taking a break from pissing down rain (it's Oregon after all) so I got to get outside and take some pics of the lovely Amelia wearing a mottled fuschia and short sleeved sweatshirt. We dubbed it the "phenomenon sweatshirt" because we each had one for the winter months, and it went with everything and was easy to layer. At this point, there is only one left at the etsy store.






www.ojala.etsy.com

Keeping up with the resolutions

I graduated from college back in mid-December, and that has been the marker of my "new year" rather than the traditional December 31st. I told myself that I would really work harder and be more diligent to get to a place where I felt like my life was in order, and I was living up to my beliefs.

So here is what I've accomplished so far:

1. Quit smoking-- I'm now finishing up 2 months smoke free
2. I started taking a Trapeze and Acrobatics class
3. Started a blog


4. As of today, I signed up with www.paperbackswap.com

The last one is something I recommend everyone get on board with--you sign up, and post 10 books that you are willing to part with. Doing so earns you credits, and you can use those credits to get books that other people have posted. The only money you pay is the money YOU spend shipping a book to someone. In return, when you ORDER a book from someone, whoever you ordered it from is responsible for all shipping costs. It usually works out that you would spend around $3 a book for shipping (on average) and you get to save yourself a ton of money and keep books in circulation. They were meant to be read after all.

Have a great day, its lovely outside....

L'amour is in the air

I've been seriously craving mysterious romance and passion these last few weeks. For the first time in a long long time, I'm totally on board with the spirit of Valentine's Day, and all I can think about is deep crimson reds and blacks, and old faded love letters from a bygone era. All things that evoke passion are stirring me currently; not just the concept of Valentine's Day, but also music, dance, creativity and courage in general. I say the word "courage" because I believe that it required bravery to follow your heart and love something with a sense of ferocity and total abandon.

Right now it all feels new to me all over again and its fun to reevaluate what this means to me. I've been watching love films (sshhhh! don't tell) and reading love sonnets by Pablo Neruda. I'm enjoying each day as a blank slate that allows me to pursue the unusual and explore new terrain. I have no idea what has inspired and stirred these feelings, but I'm glad to be exploring and enjoying the moment.

"Spanish Rose" By Raipun

aged love letter

Love letters

Christian Lacroix always does it for me. The mixture of old world embellishments and religious iconography along with flowing, dreamy, designs ranging from the Byzantium era through the Edwardian period gets me every time. I love the corset vest below that looks like a bejeweled piece of chest armor.

Christian Lacroix

lace stillettos

There's no way in hell I would forget to mention Valentino on this post. I especially love the asymmetrical side gather of the chiffon, notably the way it gives the gown that one organic, off-centered element to make it completely perfect to me.

Valentino Red

en pointe

Pablo Neruda

and my favorite Pablo Neruda love poem ever:

Sonnet 17

"I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,

or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms

but carries in intself the light of hidden flowers;

thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,

risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

so I love you because I know no other way.

In which there is no I or you

so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand

so intimate that when you fall asleep it is my eyes that close."

~ Pablo Neruda~