I apply to several jobs a day, and work on resumes, put on a nice outfit and way more makeup than I'm used to and go stalk people at their offices to get a job, etc etc etc.
Then I come to online application forms and submissions. I feel as if I'm at least moderately tech savvy (not that it takes a lot to fill out an online form) but as of late, I'm ready to lose my shit. I fill out the entire form then after an hour of filling out all the little boxes, MY COMPUTER WON'T LET ME CLICK ON THE 'SUBMIT' button. It sure let me fill out 4 pages worth of online forms, and my laptop's pad and buttons work as they should, allowing me to easily move my cursor from one point of information to the next. Then, in a sadistic fit of computer vengeance and rage, my computer STOPS working at the moment of truth. This happens at least once every other day, and it's usually an hour of carefully thought out answers to behavioral questions. There's no way to save the information and I get so frustrated that I want to throw my laptop across the room to show it who's really in charge (of course it would still be).
I have to wonder; JUST HOW MANY shitty jobs I've missed out on because of this fucked up twist of fate? Can I sue Mac for making a laptop that won't let me go out and get a damn job? And how long can I keep up this excuse? And believe it for myself?
Now that I'm on the subject of getting a damn job. I'm writing this at 4:30am. Time has no meaning anymore and I don't have any money to do anything so I'm stuck in my house all day, making me feel even more insane. Every time I walk back into my house and I've been gone for a little while, I smell the scent of desperation and crazy in the air.
~MOVING ON~
I've had several interviews in the last 2 months. Some of them have been downright insulting, and one of them went amazingly well. You gotta love the employer's market! Too bad I'm not sitting on the same side of the table as they are. Allow me to share a few experiences: I graduated from a commercial design school where graduating students have a portfolio show open to friends, family and potential employers. At the show, I received 2 potential employment offers and I was walking on sunshine, I thought I was going to be able to get a job pretty quickly rather then have to stare deep into the depths of Gadball, Monster and Craigslist for weeks at a time.
A few days after graduation, I do my follow up and one of the companies is trying to have me take on working for them, IN A SUBURB 20 miles away from where I live, for nothing more than a gas allowance and the *potential* of hiring me at the end of a 3-month trial period. Did I mention that they wanted 40 hours a week? When I politely declined, during this phone interview, the owner of the company then said to me: "How's your job hunt going?" in a snide tone of voice. I told him it was going well. In reality, it can only go up from there.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not above working just to gain work experience or pick up some necessary skills. Before I graduated I did 2 part-time internships for a total of 8 months worth of free work for people. I do freelance apparel design work as well, and I'm at the point now where I am getting business every month. It's still not a lot or steady, but IT'S THERE!! Even if the firm had offered me a very low wage, I still would have probably considered it until I found something better because it would have been: 1. compensation for work. 2. work experience.
Remarkable interview #2
Another interview I had was at the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of experience. The pay is alright and its only 1/2 time, but I'll take it if I can get it! It was easily the most comfortable, fun interview I have ever had. We talked the entire time, and they didn't touch their interview questions once. The only downside is that I know I was fidgeting a little bit and showed some small indications of being nervous. All in all though, I would have given myself 85-90% for everything I did right.
Wish for me and help me to manifest a lovely job that will help me grow in skills and autonomy to keep me moderately sane.
oh yeah, this whole "not-having-a-job" posting is a thinly veiled request for you to go look at my etsy shop.
www.ojala.etsy.com
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